On January 25, 2012, I was fired from my first job in social work. Although I went through many financial trials, being released from that job was a blessing. I no longer had to worry about planning my day around my job from wake to sleep, long hours of travel, and being on call 24 hours amongst other things. It took awhile for me to get hired for any position but toward the end of March 2012, I was hired as a PRN mental health tech making a fraction of what I made working for the previous employer. At times, it seemed like this job paid me just enough to buy gas to get to work and food - not much else. The time I spent unemployed and underemployed gave me time to myself. I went through days of boredom, defeat, and just plain depression. I also was able to get down low enough to look up at God. My thirst for the Word was greater than ever and at this point, I had time to study the bible. In July 2012, I started attending a new church as a visitor. I was drawn to the church and it seemed to give me just what I needed spiritually.
Having grown up in the church, I knew the entire situation shouldn't have rocked me because my faith should have been at a level where I just trusted God and kept on moving. Many days this wasn't the case though. I suffered with a wavering faith that eventually grew stronger. I was more the Word, excited about church and I could actually see growth in myself. I even spend a lot of time watching the archives of lifechurch.tv which really a Godsend. After the watch meeting was over and 2013 had rolled around, I officially moved my membership to that church.
I know you're probably wondering by now what tithes has to do with anything I've said so far. Here's how it ties in: When I was working the decent paying job, I payed tithes - inconsistently and after taxes. When I started working PRN, I was grateful to have a job again so I paid tithes BUT "when I could". I eventually made up in my mind that paying my tithes was going to have to become a habit - not an option or an afterthought. I did pretty well, eventually moving from sometimes to most of the time and from tithing on post tax income to tithing on pretax income (I don't want God to take taxes out of my blessings). I was of the mindset that if no one else got paid, my tithes would get paid. As I paid my tithes more consistently at the church I was a member of at the time, I was also visiting my current church more frequently. It was amazing how every time I wrote out my tithes envelop at my membership church, I would think about how much more useful the money would be at the church I had started attending. I knew in my heart that it was time for me to move my membership and my money. I knew that my money needed to be contributed to the household of faith where I was being fed. I've done well with tithing this year, even really making my tithes first - making sure to set my tithe money aside before spending money on anything else. I've done well, actually up until the last month and a half and I think I've gone through a financial faith crisis. A trying course of events took place in my life requiring me to have to travel and spend money that I really didn't have. I would look at my check from my full time job as a ward clerk (same employer and pay rate of the PRN position) and think, "I'll have to pay my tithes the next time. This isn't going to be enough to take care of everything". All the while, God has continually been blessing me. I guess he's been releasing those stored up blessings when I most needed them. Even though my faith was there for healing of my family member, provision, and other things in the spiritual, I got back to the point where I didn't trust God with "my money". That's so crazy because people were calling me to give me money so I would have gas and even when I would be at my last, something would come in the mail or I would run out just as payday made it. God proved himself over and over but I still wasn't doing my part. He is so amazingly good that he blessed me to be moved to a position in the field I actually went to college for with better conditions and pay than the job that fired me. Just as my patience was running out and I thought I was sitting still too long, He moved for me. I found myself wanting to tell one of my spiritual leaders about my upcoming transfer with the boost of favor that was given to me but I was quieted. It overcame me that I need to let my tithes be my testimony.
You may be wondering what I mean by calling tithes a testimony. Well, we often tell people how good God is. We brag on our blessings or as many say "boast in Jesus" but when it comes down giving back to God what He gives to us, we can't brag. Letting my tithes become my financial testimony is a personal commitment. It says, God gave me this job and I'm giving back to Him what He requires of me. It says that when I was once only able to pay this much, God increased my income so now I pay this much. It says that no matter how rough I think times are, I have to stay committed to doing what is required of me. This experience and this blog should be my reminder that the next time I consider not paying my tithes, I should re-evaluate my thinking because God has always done for me even when I didn't deserve it so I must always give Him HIS DUE.
